Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!!

2013....I am going to step out and do more than I have even when I had a title.  I will attend more fundraisers, events and parties and help raise funds for all sorts of different organizations and in October of 2013 i will be going to American Brotherhood Weekend and compete for American Leatherboy.  Amazing how small things in the last few weeks have made me open my eyes and see how much I am truely missing in my life. This year I did accomplish a huge fundraiser on my birthday and I am very proud of that!  We did raise over $1300 and gave them a TON of teddy bears! So for August 3, 2013 plan on boy Robert's Second Annual Teddy Bear Auction! Time to start looking for my entertainers for that night!  (Granted it is 8 months away)
The way that 2012 is going to end for me this year is like no other one really, I will be working, I will be single, and as always I will still be happy and be with friends!  That night I will be working with some of the best people I think I have to work with.  2012 was a good year for me for work, at my 18 month anniversary of working for DGS I started applying for different promotions in different cities, I applied for a promotion in MSP, and one in Orlando, I didn't get either job.  So then I decided that I was going to apply for the promotion in Cleveland and long behold I got the position.  So since May 19, 2012 I have been a supervisor here in Cleveland for US Airways.  As of right now I plan to hold the position as long as possible or until I finish school!
Which brings on my next topic, school!  The good news is in less than four weeks I should be starting school at Cuyahoga Community College aka Tri-C here in Cleveland.  This first semester I am really just focusing on doing Math and English just so I can knock those two out and then just go right into cooking fulltime in the summer courses! So that is pretty much the wrap here on the things I have going on here and there really.  I do hope everyone enjoys reading my blogs and learning a little bit more about me really.  I know I am a little nuts but hey, who isn't?

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Friday, December 7, 2012


Well I have began revamping my life and doing things to make myself happier.  I am so happy to started this!  First step is to remove all the negativity from my life, which I have started that!  Now the next thing I am working on is bettering my body!  I will be starting P90X, I will be devoted to doing it and I will do it every day!  I need to lose some weight and I want to try and be down to 190 by Aug.  I am currently at 215.  All the other steps in my revamping will just happen as it happens.  Not really sure what else I need to blog about right now.  But if I don't blog get back before Christmas everyone have a great holiday!  No matter what you celebrate if you celebrate just know that I am wishing you and your family a great time!

boy Robert

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Long Awaited Update!

So it has been a while since I have updated this mainly because I have not had much going on.
So brief update, i have a boyfriend, I'm spending Thanksgiving with him an his friends. I plan to compete for American Leatherboy in Oct!
And I got a new tattoo, the tattoo does have a significant meaning to me. The tree was essentially the main focal point and everything was added in at my request. The reason the tree looks dark I because its a representation of my tree of life, representing me and the bad things I have gone through. The bear is essentially supposed to be me, granted he looks lost but those of you that know me really well know I get lost very easily! The beanie do I really need to explain it? The beanie for some reason represents me and my playful side of being me really, thanks to Trooper Long for recommending me to get a propellor beanie! Finally the key hole, the key hole is essentially representing the key to my heart, the key to my life and how to open me to get to know the real me that many don't know.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, September 7, 2012

Interview, School, Leather

So I am going to practice making eggs in the morning in case I have to for the interview tomorrow. I kind of hope I get the job so I can pretty much stay in Cleveland and not fly around to see friends. But I do want to see people really close to me soon though! Like Daddy Tom, I miss him! Also my sister, dad, niece, nephew, grandmother brother and little sister. I'm excited I got accepted into school an just a matter of going through and getting loan information fixed for it. As well as getting loans deferred a couple of years or so til I complete school. Think I'll go and just work on basics then possibly transfer to a four year college after or just finish everything there really. I don't know as of right now, play it by ear as many say!
This did start out as a Facebook post but I kind of have a lot on my mind and thinking about the good things I have coming my way. I need to figure out a way to get my resume printed off to take with me tomorrow and get pictures of my previous meals that I have made and take them with me to the interview seems that it usually helps to create a portfolio of the 'work' you've done.
Right now Kevin and I are heading to Giant Eagle to get some groceries that way I have food for the next couple of days. This rain is horrible! Really glad I can relax a bit tonight and en more tomorrow night, I'll be done by 1030 tomorrow night as long as everything goes wry smooth! I really like my closing teams at work more and more lately I have gone to trust them and have there backs and they mine when shit hits the fan. So random thought this has kind of become a more about me blog more and more lately and I need to update more. I need to just let everything go from my mind and I will be fine :).
As far as leather and me I am going to Chicago next week (9/14-9/17) I will be there judging the Illinois Leather Pup contest and I am very excited to me a part of this as well as putting my name on it. I support the pups and everyone everyday! Love my leather family! Thank You SIR Bear for asking me to judge the contest it means a lot to me! Not much more going on in my head right now but I do want to thank everyone for reasons this post! Also the picture posted is of me, boy Tom and boy Greg, they are great leather brothers here in Cleveland and I am proud to call them family!

Location:W 130th St,Cleveland,United States

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Bear It All Teddy Bear Update

First things first, I am proud to have done this fundraiser for Providence House, and it will not be the last one I do for them! They are a amazing organization that I am proud to participate in helping! Tom Savage and I did take about 24 Teddy Bears to Providence House the afternoon of August 3, 2012 and we were given a tour of the facilities and while we were touring the facilities Molly, the one who I have been in contact with, showed us what was happening and how things were changing for the good, and how they will be able to help not just children from birth to six years old they will be able to help children up to the age of 10.  She also explained that the current housing area will be redone and worked into a nursery for sick children, she also stated that Home Depot donated all the counter tops and kitchen cabinets in the house as well.  Its just such an amazing organization and I am in works right now to have my Breakfast With Santa with Providence House if everything works out the way we are planning for it.

So the Bear it All Teddy Bear Auction happened on Fri, August 3, which was my birthday.  I first of all just want to say WOW!  I am just simply amazed at the amount of people were there and how everyone had helped out with even the littlest things.  I had boy Tom selling shots as well as my specialty of drunken gummi bears, I have Pup Hercules from St Louis and Scott O'Brien (Mr Missouri Leather 2012) selling raffle tickets, Melanie Matthews, Tom Savage (American Leatherman 2011) and myself were all the host/ess of the night.  We had a amazing line of performers, Miss Bounce 2012 herself Maya Tack, Melanie Matthews, Sonshine La Ray, Athena Ghost were all the amazing queens of the night and our sexy leather male strippers consisted of Tom Savage, Scott O'Brien and Michael Messer (Mr eXile 2012), we also had Philip McDavid running the dj booth, James and can't seem to remember the other bartenders name bartending for us.  They all did a amazing job!! Thank You all so much for the effort you put into making it an amazing night!
So the next part is the physical Teddy Bear Auction that we had on the back pool table, it went really well!  I had donations from Maya Tack, BearFilms, BrutusWear, Ohio boys of Leather, Johnny boy and Jimmy, Tom Savage, Danny Tamez (Mr NJ Leather 2012), Kristophers Touch, Matt Stearn, Bob Behnke (Michigan LeatherSIR), Woody Woodruff (IML 2012), Benjamin Burney, Dab Garner, Trinity (American Leatherwoman 2011), Master Noel, SIR Marc, Jed Ryan, and myself.  The auction was a hit, each basket had its own theme and each one was unique.  Thank You to everyone who had donated to the Teddy Bear Auction!

The last part of it all is the money, and all of the donations that were brought to Cocktails Cleveland the night of the fundraiser.  GMAC Insurance was kind enough to donate a box of about 20 bears of various sizes as well as $120.00, we also had a cash donation by a gentleman of the name 'Tall Paul', he donated $200.00 to the fundraiser.  For the performers, Jello shots, raffles, auctions and just the donations given we raised a total of $1,300.00!  This is the most that I have ever raised during a fundraiser and I am very proud of this!  I also want to thank Veranda L'Ni for assisting me at a few moments when I was having a hard time on stage I do appreciate your help, as well as your Teddy Bear donations!

I do want to thank everyone again for helping me make this into an amazing fundraiser!  I am so proud of myself, my friends, my family, the performers and anyone that came out to support myself and Providence House!  Thank You for giving me the best Birthday I have ever had, at least the best one I can remember! 

Thanks for reading!
boy Robert

Saturday, July 28, 2012


To start all of this off I am not trying to make this into a pitty party about me or anything of that sorts, I am just going through a lot of personal things and figured I would put it all out here so everyone knows exactly what I am thinking rather than leaving it built up in my head and just stressing me out and upsetting me really.

Ok so people tend to use the word love a lot.  Examples are I love you, I love the way you look at me, I love, I love, You love...blah blah blah love.   The true meaning of the word love is to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I have had that feeling with a few people I know and a few people I was close to, some I am still close to.  Well I am going to start thinking more and more on the word love, more and more on the people that I want to say it to.  I love my friends, I love my family, I love the people that do everything to help me out and be a better me, but in the long run I don't believe I love myself.  I loved myself when I was working out, I loved myself when others made me smile real big and I loved when I was told that someone loved me.  I may be 23 going on 24 but at this time I have experienced A LOT, and in my head and in my mind I am ready to settle down, I have gone through my whore, pig, slut, party phases already and I am done with it all really.... Oh well I guess I need to just work on me more and more and maybe I will get all this love back, but til then the I love you's may not be coming from my mouth that much/often.

So on a side note from the depressing part of the blog, it is less than a week til my birthday and the Bear It All Teddy Bear Auction.  I am getting excited but I think the one thing I am even more excited about is that I am moving on Aug 1 into my apartment.  I have already went and spent a little over $100 on things for the apartment to make it all feel like mine!  I can't wait to get moved into it! I want everything to just look good and special before my bday, plus Daddy Tom is coming and spending the weekend with me, which means its got to be extra special!  I am excited that he is coming, just thinking of spending the weekend with him kind of gets the stuff off my mind that I posted above.  Oh well I will think of all the positive things that make me happy and at that point I should be fine. 

So instead of going to Provincetown, MA the 7-10 I think I may go to Miami, Fort Lauderdale or Orlando, those would be some fun places to go and just get away from everything, and truthfully thats what I kind of need.  I don't care if I go out to any of the tourist traps or if I just go hang out by the beach either is fine with me really!  I have a few other places I could go to and just get away, but unsure of where to really go.... 

Sorry if this seems like a random depressing blog, it just kind of helped me get a lot of stuff off of my mind and just relax a little bit.  I hope no one is wanting to bitch at me for this, I am constantly getting bitched at for the negative, depressing and down things that I post, so please none of that.....

boy Robert

Thursday, July 26, 2012


boy Robert and Donated Bears
For Providence House
So I have been working hard on my fundraiser and getting things together for it.  I am excited for it!  I can't believe how many people are helping out and how many items are being donated to the fundraiser.  Its so amazing!  I am so glad to have this many friends help me! Not really sure why this blog is being posted, just wanted to really say Thank You to everyone, granted the fundraiser isn't for a week but thank You to everyone who has helped me whether it be little or it be big.  I am excited to take Tom to some of the places I go to as well as taking him to Cedar Point since he and I have neither have been there!  So I don't really have much more to say right now other than Thank You!

boy Robert 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Long Awaited Update!

So, this is the long awaited update from when I moved to Cleveland..... Well I have been doing well with my job and working a lot.  I usually only work Sat-Mon, but more and more lately I am picking up more hours.  I love my job, just a few small things that I am tired about, but I can't say it on here hahaha, well that;s the update on the job, truthfully that is not why I am writing this.....

Poster For Fundraiser
I am throwing a fundraiser on August 3, 2012, for those of you paying attention, YES that is my birthday.  The fundraiser is called 'Bear It All Teddy Bear Auction', all proceeds will be donated to The Providence House of Cleveland, it is a organization that helps children that are affected by abuse.  I am very excited for this since this is my first fundraiser since living in Cleveland, so many people are helping prepare for it! I have Melanie Matthews, a queen who is coming out of retirement to perform, we have Mr Missouri Leather, Scott O' Brien coming out to strip, possibly Tom Savage the 2012 American Leatherman, I am trying to convince him to strip especially since its my birthday!  I may strip depending on how I am feeling that day, I know for fact I am bringing my 'Whack-A-boy' back this year, I did it at the Ohio Leather Alliance contest last year for my travel fund, this year it will all be going to Providence House.  The one thing I just started promoting is that I am directly donating 10 teddy bears directly to Providence House, I did learn that for every child that comes to Providence House is given a teddy bear and a suitcase.  To me a teddy bear is something that is there to protect you while you sleep, protects you from any type of illness and everything in between, that is why I have a teddy bear of my own.

So another major update that I just found out today, as of 07 August 2012 I will no longer be a soldier of the Army National Guard.  It is all on good terms for those of you interested in that, I had put in for a early discharge for August back in June, and while I was flying in today I was advised I will be allowed to take a honorable discharge on August 7th.  I am saddened by this news but at the same time I am happy that I will not be losing money while attending drill each month.

I know this is a slight amount of rambling going on but just a lot on my mind and just writing this made me feel a lot better and less stressed.  I hope that you enjoyed reading my blog, also if you would be interested in donating anything to the fundraiser shoot me a email at

Thanks For Reading!
boy Robert

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Hey Everyone, as many of you know I am now living in Cleveland, I have been in there since May 19.  I started training and what not on the 21 and just last Monday (June 4) I took the reigns of Supervisory.  Well my first week didn't go as well as planned.  I have a few issues Saturday, one being the person running my operations on the inside, telling me when a plane is clear to land and what not, he didn't advise me of any of that, he just sat there played on his phone, computer and listened to music and ignored the essential job responsibility.  Well he got a write up, the next crazy thing that happened is everyone left but myself and my two night guys and well lets just say my favorite word for the next couple of hours was f*ck.  I didn't know that the mainline flight coming in to stay over night was a airbus til it actually turned the corner and that is when I started to yell f*ck, then about four minutes later my next plane was there and f*ck just kept flying out of my mouth.  Well all in all after the planes were parked, offloaded and the first one was clean, things started to get a little better until I try to close the bin door of the airbus, yeah it didn't want to close.  The pilots had left and when they left the ground power wasn't working, the plane was completely shut down, and on top of all of that I couldn't get the hand crank to work to try and shut the bin.  So I called my boss and then I called maintenance, the funny thing is that maintenance didn't get the issue resolved I did after messing around with two different ground power units, so blah blah blah plane clean. So blah blah blah rest of the night progresses then the last plane came in and we had to clean it in the complete dark because dispatch had called us earlier in the day and advised us not to hook up the ground power to it for some reason, I didn't ask the crew about that but I should have, I should have just verified that the information was correct. Come to find out it wasn't correct and we could have hooked up the ground power, but we didn't.

So that was all just one night, but that one night caused a lot of other crap to come down on me. But my excuse for all the crap that happened this weekend is that it was my first weekend to close on my own and with little help that I just need a few extra days to get things together and I should be completely fine.  Which truthfully I am the type of person that is constantly worrying that I am missing something, that I am doing something wrong, that something is always going wrong.  But I am actually working right now and creating a check list of things I need to ensure that I do every night, ensure that these certain things are done before I leave, which I have to take the train and then the bus home and it kind of sucks at that time in the morning.

But back to the essential update of this whole blog.  Cleveland, Cleveland is a good city, lots to do around the city and what not, but for some reason I just can't seem to ever get the motivation to get out and do it.  All in all things are ok with me, I am just wanting to get a car now, I am setting aside money each week from my checks to go towards a car, so hopefully before my bday I can get a nice dependable car to last me a while.  I have so much on my mind more and more lately but I will figure it all out sooner or later.  I will be fine, better yet I am fine, I am fine with the things I have chosen to do, I am fine with what I am doing, I am doing what best for me as a person, as a boy, I am doing whats best for me, Robert Matthew VanNess. I am what matters to myself more than anything and truthfully I am just now realizing all of this.  I am a great boy, a great person, I have a big heart and I am always there to support and help anyone that is in need of help!

All in all this is just a lot of the stuff that is on my mind right now, just the stuff I want to talk out and talk about, which I did, I feel more comfortable now as a whole as me. Tonight is going to be a great night I get to see my amazing NJ Leather Family, they make me happy, they are always making me smile and they are all great people!

Thanks for reading my random thoughts i post out there,
boy Robert

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


boy Robert and His Friend Edin
I know I stated I was not going to post anything til I made it to Cleveland and was settled, well I needed to get things off my mind.
I know it may sound like I am repeating myself, but truthfully I feel like I am always repeating myself when I type something here.  I am extremely proud of myself for going through and accepting the position and doing everything I can to make the transition to Cleveland smooth.  I have came to the realization just today really, that this is the first time in 7 years that I am not running away from something, that I am not dropping everything and moving away with very little.  I am actually walking away from a good place and going to something better.  I got a promotion, I didn't lose my job or anything, it just shows that I am proud of the job that I do and I seem to do it well.  This promotion is going to help me continue to grow and get more responsibilities and do more with myself really.  I am just extremely happy to have the support from my family as well as my friends now.  Thank You all for being here for me, this is a big step even though its a big step for the good, not the bad.
So I leave this blog saying, I have everything packed except my papers, my awards, my 3ft tall trophy i can't figure out how to pack, my printer and my bed, well bed is staying up, but everything else i need to finish packing. Thanks for reading.  Next update will be from Cleveland!

boy Robert

Sunday, May 13, 2012


On My Way Home From Cleveland
So this week is the big week, its the big move to Cleveland for my promotion to ramp supervisor.  I am more nervous than excited really, more and more I keep thinking that I am doing the wrong thing, but in the back of my head I know that I am doing what is right for me.  I have grown up and become more independent as a boy and myself in the last two years of being here in Dayton.  I have two leatherboy titles under my belt and feel like I have accomplished so much with those titles.  I am apart of Mama's Family, which is something that I look as being amazing!  As I keep thinking into the whole idea I know I am doing the right thing. I AM becoming the independent boy that I want to be, I deserve to be.  I know in the past I have been jealous and envious of my leather brothers but they don't have the freedom that I do to do what is best for me.
Cleveland, its going to be a new start for me.  Granted the new start really won't happen until I get my own apartment and vehicle, but that will be my new start, the new beginning of boy Robert.  I can not wait to get everything settled and set up in Cleveland. Can't wait to find my own place, and actually make it my own place this time then just a place for people to come to when they want to get away from there family.  Also in case I do not update from 1 June- 15 June I will be on military orders during that time and may not be able to update my blog or my facebook at that time since the sites are monitored and that good stuff.
Well I don't really have much more to say, other than Tuesday will be my last working day in Dayton, OH.  Thursday is my going away party at Marian Lanes in Huber Heights at 730pm, and Friday morning I am planning on leaving or Cleveland.  So my next update will be Friday when I am in Cleveland.

Big Hugs!
boy Robert

Monday, April 30, 2012


Java boy, boy Robert
First I want to start off and say WOW!  It was an amazing weekend and so many amazing people where there that I have never met until this weekend!  First off Master Noel, SIR Marc, boy Neal and Pup Ace Thank Y/you! The four of Y/you have helped me break out of my shell more now than ever before.  Y/you helped me realize I had the Pup inside of me and I just really realized it this weekend. Thank Y/you for the help in getting me into the Pup zone.  I was able to access it a couple of times this weekend and WOW!  boy Neal, thank you for showing me how to use Hubbards, I was able to make my Daddies boots and my boots shine and look great with Hubbards on them.  Pup Ace, thank you for being the playful pup I kind of figured you were, made me think more about pup play. Master Noel and SIR Marc, thank You both for having the pup classes and pits at CLAW, also the Pup Olympixxx was awesome! Master Noel with Your permission I would love to have You as one of my mentors.  I would love to learn more about being a pup and accessing that zone more Master Noel.

To continue on from that Friday was great! Friday started off with a breakfast with Tom, Danny and Bryon, not long after breakfast Tom and Danny presented me with a collar to wear for the weekend and be in service to them.  I agreed to it.  After that Danny and I went to Pup 101 that was presented by Master Noel, SIR Marc, boy Neal, and pup Ace.  That was great!  We then went to lunch and relaxed for a while. I then had to deal with issues with the bank then I took a nap and relaxed til the afternoon/evening.  Tom, Danny, Bryon and myself went to The House of Blues with Lady Justice and other members of Her amazing Leather Family and close friends.  Thank You for that Lady Justice!  Later in the evening was the Cleveland Rocks party which actually rocked!  I was asked by Dave Watt to be on a table and have food eaten off of me, that was a lot of fun, but I was a little jealous of all the pups in the mosh pit and I was on the table watching. Made me really want to be out there with the other pups and having fun.  That is pretty much all I did that night, I ended up going to bed early Friday Night.

Saturday morning came around and I had everything planned out starting off the morning early with the Java boys then skill after skill class I wanted to attend.  Java boys was amazing! I enjoyed every second of it, it was so much fun being half naked and walking around and surprising men that are naked and half naked and delivering them freshly brewed coffee!  Well after that I went to shower and prepared to head to the market for shopping, then off to a skills class but wasn't able to attend it because I had some issues with the hotel charging my credit card and I didn't have any money. I did go to breakfast with Tom and Danny then Tom and I went to the Beginning Mosh Pit, I didn't get much into it, I sit back and watched the pups.  My friend Tom (don't know his pup name) joined the pit and I was watching on the side next thing you know I look up and I am being tackled by him, a few minutes later Beanie Pup came out and joined the pit  (Beanie Pup is me). I enjoyed the little time that I had in the pit and Tom enjoyed watching me play.  I was in my pup zone and nothing on my mind but being a pup.  After the pup pit myself and Daddy Tom went upstairs and relaxed for a few.  I then started shining leather and getting everything ready for the Titleholder Cocktail and the International Family Dinner.

As we are all showering and getting ready for the evening I got upset with the razor burn that I had on my neck from shaving.  I hate shaving!  I went ahead and threw on my leather and got all dressed and ready for the cocktail party then went down to the cocktail party with my Daddies.  As I was down there I had a few great friends come up to me and say that I am a great boy and they are very proud of me.  For them to say that to me made me feel so special and I started to cry. I have not had so many compliments about me and my leather career and I received so many this past weekend!  At the dinner I was sitting at the table with Mama beside me, then Tom, Danny, Ky, Eric, Rene, Daddy Jim, and two other gentlemen I couldn't remember there names.  I had a blast sitting with all of them, I was in service to the table and assisted in grabbing drinks and filling water glasses for everyone.  I actually enjoyed helping out with that.  As dinner was coming to a close Ky had a Fat Max that he sold tickets for to raffle it off, well Danny and Tom bought tickets for the raffle and they won! I had the tickets in my pocket so I walked up on stage and brought it to them.  Woohoo it will be in my new apartment when I get moved there.  After we get done with dinner and everything we head back up to the room and relaxed for a few minutes then we decide we wanted to go to the Gear Party out at Mean Bull. As I was getting ready, I looked at myself in the mirror and actually teared up, I looked great! So the Gear Part wasn't as busy as I thought it was going to be.  We decided to leave early because I was going to be doing Java boys again on Sunday morning.

Java boys day 2, was a lot more fun than day 1! We had a blast!  Only bad thing I can say about it is that I had to wait for the shuttle at Mama's hotel lol that took a little longer than expected.  I do want to say that I really enjoyed surprising Master Noel, SIR Marc, boy Neal and Pup Ace with the coffee service, made my day really!  I had plans to do the Burlesque Bingo later in the evening before that I was able to get flogged by Mr Myers while Tom and Danny were in the Leather Hall of Fame brunch.  I had one of the most amazing flogging sessions yet!! It made me feel so good and relaxed!  Time passed so quickly between that and the time the Burlesque Bingo started.  When Bingo came around it was time to play bingo and watch other men strip, I was the third person to strip, which was a lot of fun!  I enjoyed it very much! I did this and I never thought I would have felt so free and had nothing on my mind just did it and didn't worry about a thing.  I enjoyed it and stripped with pride!

Buffet boy Getting Marshmallow Fluff
Licked Off His Nipples
After bingo I went and showered and changed to prepare for dinner with Tom and Danny.  We started walking just to get away from the hotel.  We walked all the way to the House of Blues, the next thing you know the restaurant was closed.  So we went to The Winking Lizard for dinner, while there we ran into Bryon Hayes, Cb Kirby, Terry Laupp, Scott O'Brien, and two other individuals I don't remember there names lol. It was a great dinner and Scott ate most of the red velvet cheesecake. We then walked back to the airport and relaxed for a few minutes then we all showered and changed to head to the DREAM performance.  The performance was great, but I was so tired! I watched most of it but had to go and get a beer.  After the performance I went to the room and packed my bags, I just wanted to make sure I didn't have to rush on Monday like I did last year lol. I made it home safely went to the gym and then to the apartment and relaxed.  I have been typing on this blog for HOURS, I am just now finishing it. I have been getting distracted all day by the tv, people, calls, text and emails.  Now I am going to shower and head to bed!

This was an amazing CLAW, I am proud to have met so many people! I am proud to have added so many new people into my extended Leather Family! I needed to get away from reality and just be a leather boy, which I did all weekend.  I know I stretched myself to thin but I enjoyed the entire weekend.  Thanks to Tom and Danny for making this weekend special and thank You for making me a happy boy!

boy Robert

Friday, April 27, 2012


So I am here in Cleveland, OH for CLAW and it has been a great start of the trip!  This morning after breakfast Danny and Tom presented me with a Collar this morning.  This makes me feel so special and actually protected!  They are my Daddies and make me feel like an amazing boy!  I am very excited for the rest of the weekend to start.  I am about to get ready and head to the Pup 101 Class with Danny as Tom volunteers this morning.  I have a lot to do and so little time to do it in.  Time to get things going!  I will be wearing this collar all weekend with pride!


Friday, April 20, 2012


boy Robert at Work With Puppy
So I have some amazing news to everyone that doesn't know yet.  But I had a interview yesterday for DGS Ramp Supervisor in Cleveland, OH.  Well the good news is I got the position! In just a few weeks I will be moving to Cleveland, and will be working as ramp supervisor for DGS but under the US Airways contract.  This is a big turning point for me.  I have never worked this hard in my life to get something.  I am supposed to start the second week of May, should be fun to learn something new and have fun with it and learn lots of new things as well.  I know that there is a lot more going on with me right now, just wanted to give everyone a quick update and let them know that I got a new job and position and am very excited about it.

Friday, April 6, 2012


So I know that I complain alot about being alone and everything but in the long run I am wrong.  I am not alone.  I have so many people that care about me whether they are here or afar.  I have also complained about not having any 'love' in my life but just lately I came to the realization that I do have people that love me and care for me ALOT. 
I want to let everyone know that I do have two Daddies that mean the world to me and beyond that, Tom and Danny you mean so much to me and I am just coming to the realization that I am Your boy and I want to be Your boy.  I want You both to be my Daddies, You are both already there for me when I am feeling down and in a lost space and I can talk to You both whenever You aren't busy.  You both make me smile, laugh and you have made me cry, but only made me cry to the realization that I know I can and will be a better boy.  I am happy and excited to spend CLAW with You both, even more excited that I can have one of my Daddies attend me to Pup 101, that means a lot to me, especially since I want to let the playful boy side out more.  I am very glad to have met You both at ABW this previous year and proud to have been somewhat by Your sides since then. 
With all this being typed/said I feel a lot better about myself and my feelings are changing a lot.  I know that they live in NJ and I know that "long distance relationships don't work well" well out of the time that we have been talking I feel like i have been growing closer and closer with them even though they are a few states away.  Danny and Tom You mean so much to me and I just want you both to know that I am always going to be Your baby boy!

Much Love,
boy Robert
Mama's Army Cub
2010 Ohio Valley Regional Leather boy
2010 eXile Leather boy

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Exhaustion, Envy, boy/Pup

So this is just a random posting as always. I am actually to that point of exhaustion. I am just so exhausted from working so much and not really having time to do anything just go to work come home and I have been hitting the hay about 2130-2200 and I am out like a rock. I am thankful to have a day and a half off to relax. I will be home relaxing most of Wednesday and most of Thursday when I am not at work. May play some Xbox or plan things out on my computer to get things off of my mind.
Next topic on my title is Envy, I have more and more lately envied a few of my leather brothers and family. What thy have is exactly what I want, but I know that I am not really ready for that and I don't trust anyone that much to even petition them for a training collar because I am just afraid of giving up. I hope that makes since.
Last topic is boy/Pup, I am very slowly making the change into a Pup, but at the same time I'll still be a boy. I am proud of myself and the things that I have done, but I seem to have been in a weird mood where I don't want to have any fun anymore. That's the reasoning behind me going into the Pup mode I want to play and have fun! I will be attending some of the Pup events at CLAW and I hope to have fun with it! My friend Tyger who I haven't seen in a while will be there an that makes me a happy boy knowing I can see him!
Okay I need to get back to work an stop slacking off right now, but I want to say big boy hugs and Pup Nuzzles to everyone out there that reads this. Hope everyone has a good rest of the day!

boy Robert

Sunday, April 1, 2012


So usually March/April Easter comes into play and a lot of families spend that time together.  I am not spending time with family, I will be working on Easter Sunday.  Good thing though I think its a short flight day because its a holiday.  I just wanted to kind of make this a random blog posting like usual, well plus today is the first day or April and I wanted everyone to know that I am doing good and I am ok and all of that good stuff.  Work lately has been getting busier and busier, only because a lot of people are on vacation and going places.  I am to the point where I am not going to be traveling anywhere until CLAW hits here in a few weeks, that way I can save my money for CLAW and enjoy myself rather than stress about money the entire time like I usually do.  During CLAW I plan to have a lot of fun and spend time with my leather family, I usually see more of them then I do my real family. 
Also another random part of a update here I am growing my beard out and I am really liking the way it look, I am also growing my hair out a bit, it does need to be trimmed slightly.  I am actually hoping I can find someone at CLAW to bind me and shave my head down to a mo hawk again like two great friends of mine did for me at ABW, then Dave shaved it off in my fantasy :).  OK my shift here at work is almost over, i am going to run the last load of bags to the ramp and go wait for Bill to get off of work then we are heading home.  May be a night for leftovers I am thinking, we are both to tired to cook anything.  I hope that You enjoyed reading this and hope to see some of you all soon at CLAW!

boy Robert
Mama's Army Cub
"Proud To Be Me!"

Thursday, March 22, 2012

boy Pup

So this is the update that I tell you all what I am going to be called when I am in my pup mode.  Well guess what, it won't be in the blog til the very end.  I have been thinking about this more and more and then yesterday a friend and I were talking.  He says that if I were to be considered a boy, why would I want to also be a pup.  The reason why is that I am primarily known as a boy but more and more I want to be playful and I feel as a boy I can not be as playful and fun as a pup can.  All in All I am the same boy, just like to have fun which is where the pup comes from.  So random thoughts about today, I took Bill to work today and then after I took him to work I went right to the gym and worked out for a bit. I then decided that since I am planning on wearing leather shorts this weekend for this event I should go tanning for a bit, well I didn't want to tan for very long since i was scared I would burn so I only laid in the bed for ten minutes.  Well congrats, I am BURNT! Yes I know laugh now I know that's what you want to do lol.  So I know this is just a small blog but truthfully I don't know what else to write right now.  This Saturday I will be MJ's cafe for Ohio Leather Alliance's Beauty Bondage show, so I really hope to see people come out!  By the way this event is the reason why i went and tanned, I will be wearing my sexy ass leather shorts!  Also Beanie Pup is the name that I have chosen with the help of my friend Rick Pup Tripp Hutchings, Thank You for the help Pup, you are awesome!  The reason why I chose that is because I have my leather beanie cap and love wearing it, in terms that makes me unique and I chose Beanie Pup kind of odd but my other nickname is Leo and it seems that almost everyone and there grandfather have that name lol.

Hope This Was a Ok Blog.....
boy Robert
Beanie Pup

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

TBRU, Mr Friendly and boy!

boy Robert First Runner American Leatherboy 2012
I really just want to start this blog out with saying WOWOWOWOW!!! 1,704 Bears, Cubs, Otters, Chasers and everything in between! TBRU was great, myself and Dave were able to pin at least half if not more than that with Mr Friendly.  It was such an amazing time and amazing to get the word out of fighting the stigma of HIV with the bears.  I have learned so much this past weekend about myself, the bears and learned more about Mr Friendly :).  I am so happy to have been apart of Mr Friendly this past weekend and continue to go further with it and help Dave more and more!  I have been asked to work the booth at IML for Mr Friendly and I am very much thinking about doing that!  Myself and Dave attended the Big D Bear Dance on Friday and he worked with the Sister's of Perpetual Indulgence, I was off dancing and drinking and having fun with a really hot cub.  Saturday I worked the vendor market and had fun hanging out with the great guys of Modern Bear, they are awesome!  I then went to TMC and The Round Up later in the evening and celebrated TBRU with Lobo Al for his birthday which was Sunday. He is a great guy, and glad to have celebrate his bday with him! I also pinned a few more Sisters on Saturday that had yet to be pinned by Mr Friendly.  Sunday was 'Church' at the Hidden Door and OMG it was HOT and PACKED! I think I groped more bears Sunday then I did all weekend long, I was a naughty cubby there drinking draft beer for $.50! Later in the evening I was hanging out with the Dallas Bears and the volunteers at the volunteer party and having a great time.  I went and hung out with Dave and John we headed out to the Eagle, and JR's while we were at JRs I met the current Mr Texas Leather and we all chatted and had fun.  Syn, if you read this I want to say Good Luck and I know that you will do TX amazing!!!  So wrap up of the night I fell asleep on John's couch, better yet I passed out on Johns couch lol.
So the good things about this past weekend is that I will be having a HUGE Fundraiser starting soon that will go through July and I will announce the winner in July.  I was given a seven night stay at a condo in Kona with airfare included. The money raised will help benefit me to go to Great Lakes Leather boy in August.  I will be posting the details soon!  I have realized that the boy in me is not just a boy anymore, I have slowly started to evolve more! I have a pup in me that is going to start showing more and more soon!  I hope that people are fine with me making the growth into a pup boy/ boy pup.  I have been thinking about this more and more lately and want to actually start acting like me. 

I hope that this is a good blog that anyone can enjoy. It is just essentially talking about me and the things I am doing to try and expand me.  I hope that everyone likes the blog.

boy Robert
Mama's Army Cub
'I am proud of the boy I am becoming'

Also want to say GOOD LUCK to my amazing brother boy John! Win MidAtlantic Leatherboy! You deserve it! Love You brother!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Drill Update

So this may be a rarity for me lol two updates in a week! This one is just really random lol. I spent Friday with my friend Randall, he picked me up at the airport on Friday then we went to lunch then walked around the mall and looking for some nice clothes for me to wear for TBRU, sadly I could not find anything what so ever.

Obviously this isn't all I wanted to say but for some reason I just stopped writing lol. I have another blog update going through my mind right now and I will update it later :)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Random Thursday Update


Hey everyone, its been about a week or two since I have updated and just wanted to touch base.  I am fine, just EXTREMELY exhausted right now! I have worked for the last 7 days now.  At least I am going to have a somewhat slow weekend at drill like I usually do.  I am supposed to do a Psychal Training Test (PT) this weekend but I am bluntly going to tell my commander I am exhausted and I am starting to get sick there is NO WAY in hell am I even going to be able to finish a test better yet pass one. 
Ok other than that I am working SLOWLY on events I am going to start planning out shortly.  TBRU. CLAW, IML are just about here! TBRU is only two weeks away and CLAW is about a month and a half away! Time to SAVE SAVE SAVE! Surprisingly today we got a small $100 bonus at work which no one was expected that!  Hmm that is going to help me with some of my bills that I am trying to pay this month (ie Phone, Gym and especially RENT). 
On my 'leather boy' life I have just been sitting back, watching those in the community.  I am not acting, or trying to help those that are close I am just going to watch.   I was supposed to be a 'Official' Emcee for events and things for a organization I am apart of and held a title for, hmmm I guess since I work, have drill and really don't have time to go to Columbus for events I was voted out....Eh oh well...C'est La Vie.  I don't see a purpose of co-hosting a contest either, I did perfectly fine with it last month on my own why does someone have to be added to the mix. Oh well....once again C'est La Vie....I may or may not be able to attend it. Better yet I may be slipping away from such organization til I feel that its something I will pursue again. 


boy Robert

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Am Not A boy....

boy Robert
I know many of you are wondering why I have it titled I am not a boy.  Well more and more lately I am looking at myself as not being a boy anymore.  I know that I am young and I am conisdered to be a boy by all.  Unsure exactly what I am trying to say, I know that I am a boy but there are times that I am not a boy.  I know that I hold boy titles and I know that I am going to be competing for Great Lakes Leatherboy in August.  I am a boy when I need to be and I show respect for those that I know have earned that respect from the community. If you come to me and start barking orders I may obey you for a moment but I will most likely ask you were you earned your title as Sir, there are many out there that consider themself a Sir and bark orders expecting people to obey them all the time....sorry but if You haven't earned that title from the community then you havedn't earned it from me....
Essentially I am just typing this blog just as a place to vent and not really be criticized by anyone for venting. I know that I need to learn more leather protocol, but as many people have said to me I am only 23 I should be out having fun and not on the search to be someones collared boy, I do agree with that.  I am always off having fun and being me, but I really need to pull myself back together and be me again!  I know this blog is just sounding weird, just relax and read on, I may not always have the right things to say but I just need to think by typing and its easier that way for me.
Ok back to me. Sorry just thinking a lot everyone, please just be here for me when I need someone to talk to, it makes things easier for me!  I am essentially just saying I am not actively looking for a collar from anyone, I haven't really been searching for that but I have thought about it a lot, seeing other brothers of mine get collars just makes me sad and feel like I have done something wrong to not earn one. BUT I know i am NOT ready for one. 
That being said I think I have made my point mainly to myself not to anyone else. I am writing this just to look at it and see exactly what I am thinking about, hopefully that makes since.  I have decided to change my 'tag line' it will no longer be 'Giving From The Heart' it is now going to be 'I may not be the boy YOU want me to be, I am the boy I want to be!'.  The reason why I am changing it is because I want to be known for me being me, I can't be me is I am trying to be something that YOU want me to be. I hope that makes since to everyone, it makes since to me. 
With all this being said really I want to say sorry if I bored you with this blog, other wise I am proud of what I have posted and I am proud of where I am going with myself!  I am boy Robert, I am the boy I want to be, the boy I will continue to be!  I am the First Runner Up To American Leatherboy, the 2010 Ohio Valley Regional Leatherboy and the 2010 eXile Leather boy, I am Mama's Army Cub, all in all I am PROUD TO BE ME!!

Thanks For Reading!
boy Robert
'I may not be the boy YOU want me to be, I am the boy I want to be!'

May need to rethink that tag line, seems a little to long o_o

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


So I know I said I would update everyone last week but I didn't, sorry.  Well here we go! I have talked it over with certain Daddies, Sirs/SIRS, and my amazing mentor Sir Bruce, we all have decided that I am going to compete for Great Lakes Leatherboy in August.  I  am a great boy with lots going for me and always wanting to help those of the community as well as others in need. So by taking the drive that I had with my previous two titles I am going head on and going to rock it and do my best at GLLA! 
So that's that news, the other news is that I bought a laptop today. Since I bought it I was having a buyers remorse feeling that I bought it because I wanted it not that I needed it. Well in term I do need it, I will be ensuring that when Aug/Sept roll around and I am ready for school that it will be my laptop for school, projects, and every little thing in between. I of course will still have my netbook, but I won't be using it as much as my laptop.  
Well the gym is something I am glad I did! I have gone twice since I joined last Monday, I will start tanning soon just to get that pretan going lol. I havent decided on my trip to Key West, I want to go but at the same time I could either I visit family, or something else that could be fun. Not sure yet, I was supposed to bartend down there, but the guy doesn't need me to do it that's why I haven't decided on that yet...
Well everyone back to work! Glad to have you all read about me. I'm really nothing special. I am just me!

boy Robert

Monday, January 30, 2012

Better boy!

Hey everyone, just want to do a quick update.  I know I was posting on facebook earlier that I am tired of the stomach that I have and tired of the fat that I have been occuring in my stomach region.  Well I joined a club today called Planet Fitness and this is actually something that I am very proud of doing recently.  I am getting happier slowly as days pass by. Which in terms is a good thing!  I am also looking into something, which I won't say exactly what it is til the time is right!  Lets just say a contest may be in my future.....Not telling You which one I am looking at yet!  I will update everyone later tonight on my first experience at Planet Fitness after I get home from my first time there!

boy is getting better!

Saturday, January 28, 2012


For those of You that do not have me on there facebook page you don't know about the good news that I received on Friday.  I have received my admission letter accepting me as a student to Sinclair Community College.  It is just a community college, but I can get my Associate of Applied Science - Hospitality Management & Tourism- Culinary Arts.  I am very excited, nervous and kind of wishing the fall would get here so I can start!  So that is my big news lol.  So on the worst day of the year (Jan. 27th) something good came out of that day! Glad to have been accepted and ready to get back to school already, I need to stop slacking off and get serious!
So unsure if I mentioned this on hre yet or not but in less than 23 days I will be on my way to Key West, FL for one big Mardi Gras Party! I really can't wait!  I have been asked to come down and bartend at a bar and celebrate Mardi Gras, I have NEVER been asked to do something so fun and amazing!  I will of course be wearing my Mr Friendly pin while there to show support.  So much is going on with me in such little time really, just hope I have fun while doing all these little things.
Not really sure what else to type up right now only because I don't know what else I should say lol. I hope that everyone has a great rest of the wekend! I get to bartend tonight at Stage Door, so if any of my Dayton friends read his come and see me tonight!

Thanks For Reading!
boy Robert

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


I have had some ups and downs recently. More downs than ups, I am healthy so that is a up, but with my attitude and moods changing into a slight depression its dragging me down.  I am not trying to make this sound like a pity party, blah blah blah I am depressed. But in the long run I think that I am going through a depression, I think that all the stuff that is going through my mind is dragging me down and not wanting to let me get to the full potential that I really want to be at.
Some look at me and see a boy, some look at me and see a cub, some look at me and see Robert. I really just want everyone to look at me and see Robert, the real me, I am a boy, I am a cub, but they do not define me as who I am or who I want to be. I am just your average 23 year old that is HIV +, I am interested in Culinary, Planes, Leather, and so much more. But that is who I am.  I have leather titles, and I hold a Mama's Family name and I am glad to be apart of all of that.
Still not sure what I am getting at with writing this blog, essentially I guess I am just saying that I am a boy, but it doesn't define me. I hope that makes sense. Otherwise I just wrote randomness things.  I am NOT in search of a collar, leash, lock or anything from a Sir/SIR/Dom/DOM/Daddy/DADDY. I just want to be me, and lately its been getting harder to be me. So I really just want to step further steps back away from everything even though I just stepped forward again, I don't think I'm ready to be back to where I was back in Oct.

Sorry if I have lost You all by writing this just trying to get things off my mind.

boy Robert

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Scruff, Growlr, Grindr

So I constantly get hit on by people all over the World on these apps. I don't mind it at all, I like it. The only thing that I have been getting irritated with is when someone constantly asks to see nude pics of me, or to unlock my pics on Growlr. I don't mind doing it, but please don't ask me fifteen million times! The pics on Growlr are just me shirtless, I am a good boy(hold your laughter) I don't just want to show my pics to just anyone.
In the long run not really sure why I am complaining about this I should just accept it. Also if you want to see nude pics of me that bad there are supposedly pics of me floating around on tumblr..... If I find them I'll post the link here for those who really want to see them. Well I guess I need to get back to work! Almost done, and the plus is that it's my Friday!!! Going home, cleaning, drinking some beer, then who knows what trouble I can come up with tonight!!!!

boy Robert
-Posted From ArmyCub's iPhone!

Days Away

So I usually touch base about my HIV about this time each year, in just Three Days I will have been HIV for Three Years. It has touched me, changed me, and made me grow up so quickly.  I have had to grow up so quickly through out my life and right now things are just kind of odd and awkward.  I have been on Complera for going on two months and surprisingly my counts and things have been getting better. So yeah....Jan 27th is close...
So an update on everything going on with me lately other than Three years....I have been asked to go down to Key West, FL and bartend for Mardi Gras! I am very excited for this! I will be down in Key West, FL from Feb 20-23.  As far as I know I will be bartending at Bourbon St Pub, and also bartending on the beach!  On top of that TBRU is not far from now! I will be down in Dallas for the whole weekend working the vendor market with my good friend Dave bringing the Famous Mr Friendly to the Bears!
Other than those updates nothing is really new with me.  Sorry that I dont have to much to update on....


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

To Much....

I was told today by someone that I am to much into Leather, and to much into submission.  Well I am into leather and submission but I never that I was to much into it to much, is there any way to be into it to much?  Well the person who said this to me was just someone I was talking with on Grindr to be friends and hang out with on occasion.  He doesn't know the true me, he doesn't know that I do things for the community and I am helping those in need.  I think by me telling him that he can go screw himself, for not knowing the real me or for not wanting to know the real me, he got pissy and started trying to defend himself and saying that someone else told him things about me.....All in all I am just hearing Blah, Blah, Blah You are a leather boy and I am not interested. Blah, I don't care, I am perfectly fine being the leather boy that I am, and perfectly fine not having this guy as a friend!

Time for this boy to head to bed, I am off the next two days. Well not really off Weds I am bartending at Stage Door on Weds night. Night Everyone!

boy Robert :)

Monday, January 16, 2012


Hey Everyone! Just me.....I just wanted to let everyone know about the New Years Resolutions I have set into place and planning on keeping them!  For one, this boy needs to get a car! So I am starting to save up money very very slowly to look into getting a car for myself.  Two, I want to lose more weight, I know that I look fine how I am but all in all its just not healthy. I just need to work out and tone up some. I am starting to do push ups and sit ups in my room at night before I go to bed. Three, this is actually the main thing I am worrying about. I want to get back into school, I have been out of a school environment for two years and need to get back in it! I know I want to be a chef and be the best one I can be, but in order for me to do that I need to get back into School and do it!
I do also want everyone to know that on Dec. 12, 2012 I will no longer be in the Army National Guard, this is by choice because my contract is up on that day, everyone is trying to convince me to re-enlist, but there is no real reasons for me to do it. I have a GI Bill that expires I believe in 2014 or so (something I am still looking into), so really if i wanted to re-enlist it would only be to go to school and continue to recieve money from my GI Bill.
I do hope that every has a good rest of the week since today is Monday!  Remember to hump on the hump day!

boy Robert!
-Giving From The Heart, Its What I Do Best!-