Saturday, July 28, 2012


To start all of this off I am not trying to make this into a pitty party about me or anything of that sorts, I am just going through a lot of personal things and figured I would put it all out here so everyone knows exactly what I am thinking rather than leaving it built up in my head and just stressing me out and upsetting me really.

Ok so people tend to use the word love a lot.  Examples are I love you, I love the way you look at me, I love, I love, You love...blah blah blah love.   The true meaning of the word love is to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I have had that feeling with a few people I know and a few people I was close to, some I am still close to.  Well I am going to start thinking more and more on the word love, more and more on the people that I want to say it to.  I love my friends, I love my family, I love the people that do everything to help me out and be a better me, but in the long run I don't believe I love myself.  I loved myself when I was working out, I loved myself when others made me smile real big and I loved when I was told that someone loved me.  I may be 23 going on 24 but at this time I have experienced A LOT, and in my head and in my mind I am ready to settle down, I have gone through my whore, pig, slut, party phases already and I am done with it all really.... Oh well I guess I need to just work on me more and more and maybe I will get all this love back, but til then the I love you's may not be coming from my mouth that much/often.

So on a side note from the depressing part of the blog, it is less than a week til my birthday and the Bear It All Teddy Bear Auction.  I am getting excited but I think the one thing I am even more excited about is that I am moving on Aug 1 into my apartment.  I have already went and spent a little over $100 on things for the apartment to make it all feel like mine!  I can't wait to get moved into it! I want everything to just look good and special before my bday, plus Daddy Tom is coming and spending the weekend with me, which means its got to be extra special!  I am excited that he is coming, just thinking of spending the weekend with him kind of gets the stuff off my mind that I posted above.  Oh well I will think of all the positive things that make me happy and at that point I should be fine. 

So instead of going to Provincetown, MA the 7-10 I think I may go to Miami, Fort Lauderdale or Orlando, those would be some fun places to go and just get away from everything, and truthfully thats what I kind of need.  I don't care if I go out to any of the tourist traps or if I just go hang out by the beach either is fine with me really!  I have a few other places I could go to and just get away, but unsure of where to really go.... 

Sorry if this seems like a random depressing blog, it just kind of helped me get a lot of stuff off of my mind and just relax a little bit.  I hope no one is wanting to bitch at me for this, I am constantly getting bitched at for the negative, depressing and down things that I post, so please none of that.....

boy Robert

Thursday, July 26, 2012


boy Robert and Donated Bears
For Providence House
So I have been working hard on my fundraiser and getting things together for it.  I am excited for it!  I can't believe how many people are helping out and how many items are being donated to the fundraiser.  Its so amazing!  I am so glad to have this many friends help me! Not really sure why this blog is being posted, just wanted to really say Thank You to everyone, granted the fundraiser isn't for a week but thank You to everyone who has helped me whether it be little or it be big.  I am excited to take Tom to some of the places I go to as well as taking him to Cedar Point since he and I have neither have been there!  So I don't really have much more to say right now other than Thank You!

boy Robert 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Long Awaited Update!

So, this is the long awaited update from when I moved to Cleveland..... Well I have been doing well with my job and working a lot.  I usually only work Sat-Mon, but more and more lately I am picking up more hours.  I love my job, just a few small things that I am tired about, but I can't say it on here hahaha, well that;s the update on the job, truthfully that is not why I am writing this.....

Poster For Fundraiser
I am throwing a fundraiser on August 3, 2012, for those of you paying attention, YES that is my birthday.  The fundraiser is called 'Bear It All Teddy Bear Auction', all proceeds will be donated to The Providence House of Cleveland, it is a organization that helps children that are affected by abuse.  I am very excited for this since this is my first fundraiser since living in Cleveland, so many people are helping prepare for it! I have Melanie Matthews, a queen who is coming out of retirement to perform, we have Mr Missouri Leather, Scott O' Brien coming out to strip, possibly Tom Savage the 2012 American Leatherman, I am trying to convince him to strip especially since its my birthday!  I may strip depending on how I am feeling that day, I know for fact I am bringing my 'Whack-A-boy' back this year, I did it at the Ohio Leather Alliance contest last year for my travel fund, this year it will all be going to Providence House.  The one thing I just started promoting is that I am directly donating 10 teddy bears directly to Providence House, I did learn that for every child that comes to Providence House is given a teddy bear and a suitcase.  To me a teddy bear is something that is there to protect you while you sleep, protects you from any type of illness and everything in between, that is why I have a teddy bear of my own.

So another major update that I just found out today, as of 07 August 2012 I will no longer be a soldier of the Army National Guard.  It is all on good terms for those of you interested in that, I had put in for a early discharge for August back in June, and while I was flying in today I was advised I will be allowed to take a honorable discharge on August 7th.  I am saddened by this news but at the same time I am happy that I will not be losing money while attending drill each month.

I know this is a slight amount of rambling going on but just a lot on my mind and just writing this made me feel a lot better and less stressed.  I hope that you enjoyed reading my blog, also if you would be interested in donating anything to the fundraiser shoot me a email at

Thanks For Reading!
boy Robert