Long Awaited Update!

So it has been a while since I have updated this mainly because I have not had much going on.
So brief update, i have a boyfriend, I'm spending Thanksgiving with him an his friends. I plan to compete for American Leatherboy in Oct!
And I got a new tattoo, the tattoo does have a significant meaning to me. The tree was essentially the main focal point and everything was added in at my request. The reason the tree looks dark I because its a representation of my tree of life, representing me and the bad things I have gone through. The bear is essentially supposed to be me, granted he looks lost but those of you that know me really well know I get lost very easily! The beanie do I really need to explain it? The beanie for some reason represents me and my playful side of being me really, thanks to Trooper Long for recommending me to get a propellor beanie! Finally the key hole, the key hole is essentially representing the key to my heart, the key to my life and how to open me to get to know the real me that many don't know.


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Interview, School, Leather

So I am going to practice making eggs in the morning in case I have to for the interview tomorrow. I kind of hope I get the job so I can pretty much stay in Cleveland and not fly around to see friends. But I do want to see people really close to me soon though! Like Daddy Tom, I miss him! Also my sister, dad, niece, nephew, grandmother brother and little sister. I'm excited I got accepted into school an just a matter of going through and getting loan information fixed for it. As well as getting loans deferred a couple of years or so til I complete school. Think I'll go and just work on basics then possibly transfer to a four year college after or just finish everything there really. I don't know as of right now, play it by ear as many say!
This did start out as a Facebook post but I kind of have a lot on my mind and thinking about the good things I have coming my way. I need to figure out a way to get my resume printed off to take with me tomorrow and get pictures of my previous meals that I have made and take them with me to the interview seems that it usually helps to create a portfolio of the 'work' you've done.
Right now Kevin and I are heading to Giant Eagle to get some groceries that way I have food for the next couple of days. This rain is horrible! Really glad I can relax a bit tonight and en more tomorrow night, I'll be done by 1030 tomorrow night as long as everything goes wry smooth! I really like my closing teams at work more and more lately I have gone to trust them and have there backs and they mine when shit hits the fan. So random thought this has kind of become a more about me blog more and more lately and I need to update more. I need to just let everything go from my mind and I will be fine :).
As far as leather and me I am going to Chicago next week (9/14-9/17) I will be there judging the Illinois Leather Pup contest and I am very excited to me a part of this as well as putting my name on it. I support the pups and everyone everyday! Love my leather family! Thank You SIR Bear for asking me to judge the contest it means a lot to me! Not much more going on in my head right now but I do want to thank everyone for reasons this post! Also the picture posted is of me, boy Tom and boy Greg, they are great leather brothers here in Cleveland and I am proud to call them family!

Location:W 130th St,Cleveland,United States

Bear It All Teddy Bear Update

First things first, I am proud to have done this fundraiser for Providence House, and it will not be the last one I do for them! They are a amazing organization that I am proud to participate in helping! Tom Savage and I did take about 24 Teddy Bears to Providence House the afternoon of August 3, 2012 and we were given a tour of the facilities and while we were touring the facilities Molly, the one who I have been in contact with, showed us what was happening and how things were changing for the good, and how they will be able to help not just children from birth to six years old they will be able to help children up to the age of 10.  She also explained that the current housing area will be redone and worked into a nursery for sick children, she also stated that Home Depot donated all the counter tops and kitchen cabinets in the house as well.  Its just such an amazing organization and I am in works right now to have my Breakfast With Santa with Providence House if everything works out the way we are planning for it.


So the Bear it All Teddy Bear Auction happened on Fri, August 3, which was my birthday.  I first of all just want to say WOW!  I am just simply amazed at the amount of people were there and how everyone had helped out with even the littlest things.  I had boy Tom selling shots as well as my specialty of drunken gummi bears, I have Pup Hercules from St Louis and Scott O'Brien (Mr Missouri Leather 2012) selling raffle tickets, Melanie Matthews, Tom Savage (American Leatherman 2011) and myself were all the host/ess of the night.  We had a amazing line of performers, Miss Bounce 2012 herself Maya Tack, Melanie Matthews, Sonshine La Ray, Athena Ghost were all the amazing queens of the night and our sexy leather male strippers consisted of Tom Savage, Scott O'Brien and Michael Messer (Mr eXile 2012), we also had Philip McDavid running the dj booth, James and can't seem to remember the other bartenders name bartending for us.  They all did a amazing job!! Thank You all so much for the effort you put into making it an amazing night!
So the next part is the physical Teddy Bear Auction that we had on the back pool table, it went really well!  I had donations from Maya Tack, BearFilms, BrutusWear, Ohio boys of Leather, Johnny boy and Jimmy, Tom Savage, Danny Tamez (Mr NJ Leather 2012), Kristophers Touch, Matt Stearn, Bob Behnke (Michigan LeatherSIR), Woody Woodruff (IML 2012), Benjamin Burney, Dab Garner, Trinity (American Leatherwoman 2011), Master Noel, SIR Marc, Jed Ryan, and myself.  The auction was a hit, each basket had its own theme and each one was unique.  Thank You to everyone who had donated to the Teddy Bear Auction!

The last part of it all is the money, and all of the donations that were brought to Cocktails Cleveland the night of the fundraiser.  GMAC Insurance was kind enough to donate a box of about 20 bears of various sizes as well as $120.00, we also had a cash donation by a gentleman of the name 'Tall Paul', he donated $200.00 to the fundraiser.  For the performers, Jello shots, raffles, auctions and just the donations given we raised a total of $1,300.00!  This is the most that I have ever raised during a fundraiser and I am very proud of this!  I also want to thank Veranda L'Ni for assisting me at a few moments when I was having a hard time on stage I do appreciate your help, as well as your Teddy Bear donations!

I do want to thank everyone again for helping me make this into an amazing fundraiser!  I am so proud of myself, my friends, my family, the performers and anyone that came out to support myself and Providence House!  Thank You for giving me the best Birthday I have ever had, at least the best one I can remember! 

Thanks for reading!
boy Robert

Love...

To start all of this off I am not trying to make this into a pitty party about me or anything of that sorts, I am just going through a lot of personal things and figured I would put it all out here so everyone knows exactly what I am thinking rather than leaving it built up in my head and just stressing me out and upsetting me really.

Ok so people tend to use the word love a lot.  Examples are I love you, I love the way you look at me, I love, I love, You love...blah blah blah love.   The true meaning of the word love is to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I have had that feeling with a few people I know and a few people I was close to, some I am still close to.  Well I am going to start thinking more and more on the word love, more and more on the people that I want to say it to.  I love my friends, I love my family, I love the people that do everything to help me out and be a better me, but in the long run I don't believe I love myself.  I loved myself when I was working out, I loved myself when others made me smile real big and I loved when I was told that someone loved me.  I may be 23 going on 24 but at this time I have experienced A LOT, and in my head and in my mind I am ready to settle down, I have gone through my whore, pig, slut, party phases already and I am done with it all really.... Oh well I guess I need to just work on me more and more and maybe I will get all this love back, but til then the I love you's may not be coming from my mouth that much/often.

So on a side note from the depressing part of the blog, it is less than a week til my birthday and the Bear It All Teddy Bear Auction.  I am getting excited but I think the one thing I am even more excited about is that I am moving on Aug 1 into my apartment.  I have already went and spent a little over $100 on things for the apartment to make it all feel like mine!  I can't wait to get moved into it! I want everything to just look good and special before my bday, plus Daddy Tom is coming and spending the weekend with me, which means its got to be extra special!  I am excited that he is coming, just thinking of spending the weekend with him kind of gets the stuff off my mind that I posted above.  Oh well I will think of all the positive things that make me happy and at that point I should be fine. 

So instead of going to Provincetown, MA the 7-10 I think I may go to Miami, Fort Lauderdale or Orlando, those would be some fun places to go and just get away from everything, and truthfully thats what I kind of need.  I don't care if I go out to any of the tourist traps or if I just go hang out by the beach either is fine with me really!  I have a few other places I could go to and just get away, but unsure of where to really go.... 

Sorry if this seems like a random depressing blog, it just kind of helped me get a lot of stuff off of my mind and just relax a little bit.  I hope no one is wanting to bitch at me for this, I am constantly getting bitched at for the negative, depressing and down things that I post, so please none of that.....

Thanks,
boy Robert

Bears

boy Robert and Donated Bears
For Providence House

So I have been working hard on my fundraiser and getting things together for it.  I am excited for it!  I can't believe how many people are helping out and how many items are being donated to the fundraiser.  Its so amazing!  I am so glad to have this many friends help me! Not really sure why this blog is being posted, just wanted to really say Thank You to everyone, granted the fundraiser isn't for a week but thank You to everyone who has helped me whether it be little or it be big.  I am excited to take Tom to some of the places I go to as well as taking him to Cedar Point since he and I have neither have been there!  So I don't really have much more to say right now other than Thank You!


boy Robert 

Long Awaited Update!

So, this is the long awaited update from when I moved to Cleveland..... Well I have been doing well with my job and working a lot.  I usually only work Sat-Mon, but more and more lately I am picking up more hours.  I love my job, just a few small things that I am tired about, but I can't say it on here hahaha, well that;s the update on the job, truthfully that is not why I am writing this.....

Poster For Fundraiser

I am throwing a fundraiser on August 3, 2012, for those of you paying attention, YES that is my birthday.  The fundraiser is called 'Bear It All Teddy Bear Auction', all proceeds will be donated to The Providence House of Cleveland, it is a organization that helps children that are affected by abuse.  I am very excited for this since this is my first fundraiser since living in Cleveland, so many people are helping prepare for it! I have Melanie Matthews, a queen who is coming out of retirement to perform, we have Mr Missouri Leather, Scott O' Brien coming out to strip, possibly Tom Savage the 2012 American Leatherman, I am trying to convince him to strip especially since its my birthday!  I may strip depending on how I am feeling that day, I know for fact I am bringing my 'Whack-A-boy' back this year, I did it at the Ohio Leather Alliance contest last year for my travel fund, this year it will all be going to Providence House.  The one thing I just started promoting is that I am directly donating 10 teddy bears directly to Providence House, I did learn that for every child that comes to Providence House is given a teddy bear and a suitcase.  To me a teddy bear is something that is there to protect you while you sleep, protects you from any type of illness and everything in between, that is why I have a teddy bear of my own.

So another major update that I just found out today, as of 07 August 2012 I will no longer be a soldier of the Army National Guard.  It is all on good terms for those of you interested in that, I had put in for a early discharge for August back in June, and while I was flying in today I was advised I will be allowed to take a honorable discharge on August 7th.  I am saddened by this news but at the same time I am happy that I will not be losing money while attending drill each month.

I know this is a slight amount of rambling going on but just a lot on my mind and just writing this made me feel a lot better and less stressed.  I hope that you enjoyed reading my blog, also if you would be interested in donating anything to the fundraiser shoot me a email at armycub@gmail.com.

Thanks For Reading!
boy Robert

Cleveland.

Hey Everyone, as many of you know I am now living in Cleveland, I have been in there since May 19.  I started training and what not on the 21 and just last Monday (June 4) I took the reigns of Supervisory.  Well my first week didn't go as well as planned.  I have a few issues Saturday, one being the person running my operations on the inside, telling me when a plane is clear to land and what not, he didn't advise me of any of that, he just sat there played on his phone, computer and listened to music and ignored the essential job responsibility.  Well he got a write up, the next crazy thing that happened is everyone left but myself and my two night guys and well lets just say my favorite word for the next couple of hours was f*ck.  I didn't know that the mainline flight coming in to stay over night was a airbus til it actually turned the corner and that is when I started to yell f*ck, then about four minutes later my next plane was there and f*ck just kept flying out of my mouth.  Well all in all after the planes were parked, offloaded and the first one was clean, things started to get a little better until I try to close the bin door of the airbus, yeah it didn't want to close.  The pilots had left and when they left the ground power wasn't working, the plane was completely shut down, and on top of all of that I couldn't get the hand crank to work to try and shut the bin.  So I called my boss and then I called maintenance, the funny thing is that maintenance didn't get the issue resolved I did after messing around with two different ground power units, so blah blah blah plane clean. So blah blah blah rest of the night progresses then the last plane came in and we had to clean it in the complete dark because dispatch had called us earlier in the day and advised us not to hook up the ground power to it for some reason, I didn't ask the crew about that but I should have, I should have just verified that the information was correct. Come to find out it wasn't correct and we could have hooked up the ground power, but we didn't.

So that was all just one night, but that one night caused a lot of other crap to come down on me. But my excuse for all the crap that happened this weekend is that it was my first weekend to close on my own and with little help that I just need a few extra days to get things together and I should be completely fine.  Which truthfully I am the type of person that is constantly worrying that I am missing something, that I am doing something wrong, that something is always going wrong.  But I am actually working right now and creating a check list of things I need to ensure that I do every night, ensure that these certain things are done before I leave, which I have to take the train and then the bus home and it kind of sucks at that time in the morning.

But back to the essential update of this whole blog.  Cleveland, Cleveland is a good city, lots to do around the city and what not, but for some reason I just can't seem to ever get the motivation to get out and do it.  All in all things are ok with me, I am just wanting to get a car now, I am setting aside money each week from my checks to go towards a car, so hopefully before my bday I can get a nice dependable car to last me a while.  I have so much on my mind more and more lately but I will figure it all out sooner or later.  I will be fine, better yet I am fine, I am fine with the things I have chosen to do, I am fine with what I am doing, I am doing what best for me as a person, as a boy, I am doing whats best for me, Robert Matthew VanNess. I am what matters to myself more than anything and truthfully I am just now realizing all of this.  I am a great boy, a great person, I have a big heart and I am always there to support and help anyone that is in need of help!

All in all this is just a lot of the stuff that is on my mind right now, just the stuff I want to talk out and talk about, which I did, I feel more comfortable now as a whole as me. Tonight is going to be a great night I get to see my amazing NJ Leather Family, they make me happy, they are always making me smile and they are all great people!

Thanks for reading my random thoughts i post out there,
boy Robert