Confession

So this is me wanting to breakdown right now and confess to my family the one thing that many of you may know and many of you may not know.  I have had a problem recently and that problem was with drugs.  I started drugs about two years ago, but never really got deep in them until I got demoted in February of 2013.  I did stop them for a few weeks but when I was in Dallas, TX for Texas Bear Round Up after being sick for two nights I felt so unwanted and un needed by everyone really.  So in terms I decided that I was going to have some guys over, when they came over they brought drugs and well it all just fell apart from there.

When I returned home from Dallas, TX, I did not get sick because of some sickness, I got sick due to the withdrawal of the drugs.  From going non-stop on using drugs for four days to not doing them at all caused me to get sick.  It caused me to go two and half weeks with not eating, caused me to almost lose my job at the airport, caused me to have the shakes so bad that I could not sleep at all.  I had bad crazy cravings for it, and had no way to subside them but to do more of the drugs.

Finally I broke down and did more, when I did that little bit two weeks after the first slams of it all I started to feel relaxed, it worked the way I wanted it to, and then I ran out.  The time I ran out I decided that I needed to be above this.  I need to be able to get over this hurdle and be able to start on to something new.  This past weekend I was approached by many people that I call family, ALL of them were expressing there concern and finally one individual approached me and said he was worried for me and he broke me down.

The moment he broke me down it finally made me realize that I do need help to get past this.  I have the family and support from my friends behind me and that is all I am asking for.  At the moment I feel like I am about to slip or go do something stupid there will be a call to this individual.  At the moment I feel like I just can't go on the individual will get a call.  This individual is the one person that I will say has really given me some strong advice and I really need to take it and use it towards my life!  So as of Monday, April 29, 2013 I, Robert VanNess from this day forward will be fighting my addiction to drugs.  I am looking for a 12 Step Program and I am going to do it the right way!

Please stay with me and help me through this, I know for fact that I will have problems along the way, but if I have family by my side to help me and get through this, I think I will make through!

Thank You, and Sorry to those that this blog may have feeling like I have let them down.  I have let you down, but even more so myself.