boys Mental Breakdown....

SO much stuff on my mind...I wish i could just vent and let it all out...But at the same time if I did that I would start pointing out the MULTIPLE flaws of my 'friends'. Some days people need to just look in the mirror and actually ask themselves what they are doing with there lives....Lately I have not been asking myself this and I have just been riding the waves to just be here in the moment. At this moment i feel like giving up on some of these so called 'friends' because when i gave them advice they listened to it for a second, then went and did the opposite when shit hit the fan. I am giving up on looking for 'love' or even a 'Sir'.....Neither will happen for me...Hasn't yet, so it will probably never happen. Yes I understand this is a woe is me posting, but lately i have just been feeling the need to let things out. The only real positive things I have going for me right now is Team Friendly Northeast Ohio, and the few people that are really close to me that make me feel like I am wanted. During TBRU i felt unwanted, felt like no one wanted to hang out or talk to me, which is mostly why I stayed at the hotel even when I started to feel better. I know there are some people that wanted to hang out and spend time together, but it just never happened......Maybe I am just going a little crazy right now, but this is really killing me and wanted to let people know that I am feeling unwanted by a lot of people lately....I feel like I am being pushed away, or even into a hole that I can't climb out of. I really hope that those of you reading this know that I need the help to not give up. I need the help of these true 'friends' to keep pushing me and helping me to not give up. I guess I will just sit back and wait to see who can help me, who can push me, who can help be that true 'friend'........